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Sunday, April 20, 2014

Chapter 9, Pt. 5

Silay was woken up by the sound of Riya thrashing against her blankets. She jumped to her feet and grabbed Riya’s shoulder, shaking it gently.

“Riya? Riya, wake up. You’re dreaming.”

Riya continued her imaginary struggle, and Silay shook her shoulder harder. “Riya? Riya. Riya!”

Riya shot up into a sitting position, breathing hard.

Silay instinctively jerked her hand away, then tentatively replaced it back on Riya’s shoulder.

“It’s all right. You were just dreaming.”

Riya blinked a few times. “Silay? What—I thought—”

“It’s all right. Just a dream. Whatever it was, it isn’t real.”

Riya shook her head. “It was though. Just not anymore.” She looked up and saw the worry in Silay’s face. “I’m fine. Really.” She forced a smile for Silay’s sake. “O could use a cup of tea, thought.”

Silay hesitated, not sure if she should leave, but Riya gave her hand a gentle push off her shoulder. “Go. I’m fine.”

“All right, then.” Silay didn’t believe her, but had a feeling Riya wanted to be left alone, so she headed towards the kitchen.

*   *   *

Jarlen was already in the kitchen when Silay entered. He nodded a greeting. “The water is boiling. There’ll be tea soon.”

“Good.” Silay sat down at the table. “I’ll take a cup for Riya, too.”

“Is she up? How is she?”

Silay shrugged. “I’m not sure. I know you’re not a Healer, and the problem is magical, but—”

Jarlen smiled at her as he poured a cup of tea. “I’ll look in on her. See if there is anything I can do.”

“Thanks.” Silay reached out to take the cup, but was interrupted by a pounding from the door down the hall.

“Hey! Remember me? Any chance of getting some food?”

Silay stopped, her hand halfway to the cup of tea. “Drats. I’d almost forgotten about Talis.” She dropped her outstretched hand. “You want to take the tea, and I’ll go deal with him?”

Jarlen raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” Silay’s voice was grim.”

“All right. Shout if you need anything.”


“I will.”
_______________
originally wrote the sentence "Riya shot up into a sitting position, breathing hard" "Riya shot up into a sitting position, eyes wide, and breathing hard", but then worried it might sound like her eyes were breathing hard, which would be weird. So I changed it. 
Btw- Have you voted on the poll about Wilbrock's name? The poll ends soon.

1 comment:

  1. Proofreading :)

    O could use a cup of tea, thought (Although I kind of like this as, say, the start to a poem. Sounds almost like Whitman. :P )
    Silay’s voice was grim.” (extra ")

    (Also, I am terrible about dangling participles. I put them everywhere. It would sound okay to me, though, if it were something like, 'sitting position, her eyes wide, breathing hard' - maybe because inserting 'her' helps to signal the change of grammatical subject - to the eyes - while emphasizing the sentence's subject overall - Riya - and then the lack of a conjunction means we've gone back to the original subject. But like I said, I leave participles dangling everywhere... which sounds like the punch line to a really bad grammar joke. Anyway. If the "eyes" bit felt important to you, my overly Latinate sense of how languages ought to work would not find a phrase such as that - or separate sentences, if all else failed - to be too awkward. :P )

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